Below is a translation of Vidoll’s peko-crash-trap@, but before you read it, I want you to know the history behind this song. This is no ordinary Vidoll song. peko-crash-trap@ was released in 2003 on a split single with Kalimero, another legend that does not get their dues in 2021. On the surface, its classic Visual kei themes – keywords like betrayal, bloodstained crosses, Jesus’ protection – seem to signal some standard kote-kei cheesiness, but the betrayal in this song is so very real.
Picture this. It’s 2003 and your name is Rame. You’re the yellow-haired onnagata bassist for your new-ish band Vidoll, rising from the ashes of the dead and buried Matina era and ushering in the UNDER CODE era, which will surely not be filled with scandals and drama for the next 10 years. And even if it does, surely you won’t be the first one to get notably got. Your band is often grouped together with another Matina survivor, Gazette, but they probably won’t get anywhere. Visual kei and the internet are starting to really come together by now, and you, like every other bandman, frequent the anonymous message boards where people talk shit about bands. Today is no different. You’re scrolling, and you see something shocking: your email address has been posted on your band’s thread. peko-crash-trap@********.jp. Who would do this to you? It must be an angry ex-tsunagari.
You have never been so mad in your life. It’s time to write a song.
Yes, the lyrics are about one man’s plight having his email address posted on 2chan. Or rather, vocalist Jui’s presentation of the gruesome details of this horrendous crime perpetrated on his bandmate. They are a genuinely skilled combination of that sweet sweet Vkei corniness and online drama that has not been done as well ever since, despite the attempts of the countless bands that have done wink-nudge songs about 2ch/tanuki culture.
There is another, terrible version of this song called HxMx-crash-trap released in 2005 where the lyrics are instead changed so all of the members can call one of the guitarists a homosexual. It has easily one of the dumbest music videos of the 2000s.
peko-crash-trap@ by Vidoll
lyrics/Jui
composition/Rame
this is a test to try and let out a sigh once again
the bonds of betrayal grow by one again today
half lamenting, half murmuring “that’s enough…”
I’ll solve the mystery in his stead
why are people (Ah- “Psychological occult romance”)
intelligent?
an eye for an eye, a tooth for a tooth, a betrayal for a betrayal
with the Scriptures of Matthew in one hand, forbidding Jesus’ divine protection
a visual punishment to compensate for your act of “pasting”
“pasting a bloodstained cross… (W”1
are you a (Aahn “Erotic occult romance”)
hypocrite too, then?
it was a one-night promise, but was calling me
in that obscene, purring voice part of your “scheme” too?
when the existence of words contributed to “evolution”,
what did I think in my previous life?
traitor
“Decide on the list of suspects”
who’s the culprit? Te**? A one man play?2 Yuki**? Aya**?3 Me?
no… the culprit is you!
“apologize! apologize! apologize!” “i’m sorry!” 4
why am I? (Ah- “Psychological occult romance”)
intelligent?
before the Christian Era… “I’d do anything to show her my love, but…”
I sacrificed our countless memories again and again
at last, “words” were born… and in the present reality, I lied to you
Lu lu lu lu luu, lu lu lu lu luu, lulu
in the next life,
let’s meet each other in bodies equipped with mind-reading functions
let’s slaughter each other equipped with mind-reading functions
notes:
1 The “W” here is the “w” you all know and love – Japanese slang equivalent to “lol”. Before w (from 笑い, warai – to laugh) was the normal way to laugh online, it was common to write 藁 (wara – straw), which is what is used here.
2 The word here used is 自演, jien, which literally means to “put on a play by yourself” but is commonly used to mean posting about yourself on anonymous boards for attention. The protagonist of the song is wondering if the victim (Rame) did the crime of pasting the forbidden text. The translation here could have been “self-post” but let’s try and keep the drama high…
3 The censored names here are the names of the other Vidoll members at the time – Tero, Yukine, Ayano. The recorded version just repeats “who’s the culprit?” instead of naming them, but for live performances, the fans shout back the name of each member whenever Jui asks the question.
4 This and the other italicized stuff isn’t written in the lyrics, but it’s in the recording and this part in particular was an important part of the live performance. Vocalist Jui would yell “apologize!” and the audience would yell back “I’m sorry” while doing saku.